tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110197701822420036.post3402854363495806320..comments2024-03-28T04:42:52.156-05:00Comments on Dancing with the Word: It Seems Like It Should Be So Simple.... So Why Isn't It?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110197701822420036.post-70946123406984330122012-01-09T21:33:51.983-06:002012-01-09T21:33:51.983-06:00Karin, thanks for sharing so many wonderful and ho...Karin, thanks for sharing so many wonderful and honest stories. It seems to me you really capture some of the reasons we don't invite others to join us on the journey... and yes, there is an interesting balance between being welcoming and treating someone like 'fresh meat.' At any rate, keep being 'you' as you welcome people --- even if you have met them a dozen times before and more. The next time it really could make all the difference!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110197701822420036.post-41538515761718292072012-01-09T12:25:52.847-06:002012-01-09T12:25:52.847-06:005. The pain of rejection happens often, I think, b...5. The pain of rejection happens often, I think, because of the other person/group's fear of rejection! People in churches sometimes don't greet someone they don't recognize, because they are afraid that that person has been there forever, and they've just never met. Then they'd be embarrassed for assuming that person is new. Because of this (and other things), unfortunately, people cling to groups like themselves. Someone in a wheelchair, of a different race or abilities, or someone not gifted with good looks or shape or clothing is, more often than not, not welcome anywhere - a new church, the soccer sidelines, the grocery store, etc. People instantly assume things about "those kind of people" and assume that they cannot, or do not wish to, associate with them. This could be out of fear of failure - but it could also be out of laziness. A conversation with that kind of person might be a little harder to have, so maybe it's not worth it. I guess what I'm trying to say is "welcome" is fickle. <br /><br />6. I have two stories for this one...<br /><br />- My freshman year of college, I visited a local church. I went alone, hoping to sneak in the back, worship, and go back to the dorm to study. Upon entering the door, I swear that place could smell fresh meat. I had about every person in the place talk to me - ask me where I was from - what was I studying - what dorm did I live in - what church do I go to back home - who my friends were that I could bring next time - on and on. Now, I suppose, for some people, that would make them feel very special and welcome. But it made me about want to die. I did survive through the service, but couldn't get out of there fast enough. I never returned. I'm not sure what I learned from that (other than that I'm a card-carrying introvert), but though I have a rotten memory, the emotions of that event stick with me to this day.<br /><br />- Because I have a rotten memory, I know I'm rotten with faces and names, but I also know it's important to greet people that may be new at church. Now, I'm relatively new in the congregation where I worship, so I know I don't know everyone, but I've been around long enough to recognize most of the faces (though many of them still don't have names attached). But if I think someone is new - or if there's someone I haven't met before - I try to reach out with a gentle (!!) welcome. I did that in church the other day. I saw a young woman with kids a little younger than mine. I wanted to invite them to Sunday School, so I went up to her and said, "I'm not sure I've met you before, I'm ...." (This is what I decided to say to defer to those people who have probably been there longer than I have, but I just haven't met. However, it's also handy and works if the person is a visitor!) Usually people will exchange names with me (and I frantically try to think of a way to remember that name, but usually it's gone within a day...) and we start a nice conversation (during which I never pry or talk very long - in case they are introverts like me!). This time, however, this plan backfired. The young woman said, "Oh yes, we've met several times, and you introduce yourself every time." I just wanted to sink into the floor. I just tried to laugh it off and referenced my car-accident-induced-swiss-cheese memory. But I felt really really stupid. Certainly this incident will cause me to pause before the next time I introduce myself to someone. So, what will that do? What if next time the person IS new - and I walk by without a greeting? Now I'm the one making that person feel like an outsider!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04256070159179905872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110197701822420036.post-58739750526547913522012-01-09T12:25:33.878-06:002012-01-09T12:25:33.878-06:001. My Philip was my confirmation pastor who taught...1. My Philip was my confirmation pastor who taught me that Jesus loves everyone - so we should, too. I'm sure he has no idea how that one conversation we had after confirmation class some Wednesday night in the 70s has shaped my entire life. <br /><br />2. I'm sure, though you and she may not be close friends, it helped that she knew you well. It's harder (though in some ways easier) to invite those that you don't know at all.<br /><br />3. I've faced rejection in the face of an invitation before. Michael and I invited a bunch of friends to our 1st anniversary party. I made food all day and we had cleaned for days. That night, we sat and waited. No one ever came. That was painful. People don't like pain. I think it just takes one invitation-rejection-experience for people to become pretty gun-shy of ever inviting anyone to anything again.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04256070159179905872noreply@blogger.com